Saturday, July 29, 2006

Journey to Freedom - Part 2

My journey to freedom continued into July. Sunday July 2nd, my Pastor preached on getting out of Egypt. Well, I was ready. Enslaved by the job, I was looking for Moses. Monday, work was difficult to say the least. Then in a fit of inspiration and desparation, I had an idea. I wrote my 'Proposal for the Freedom of Patricia Carroll.' I figured out how long we could last if I quit working and wrote. My entire life I have been like a pinball in a pinball machine. And it's been a good life, but I have never gone after something. I wanted to go after writing. Pursue it full time. I gave my proposal to my sweet husband but he didn't read it until July 4th. That morning, he came in and told me if I wanted to go for it - to do it. Hooray. My independence day was July 4th. God is so good. And He confimred the decision that very day. When I went to my Email. I saw one from someone. ( I don't know them or support them and they surely don't know me.) In the subject line it said - and she's off. Amazed I opened it and saw that they were talking about the Space shuttle Discovery, which launched the morning of July 4th - just like me. In the body of the email it went on to say -- Remember this whenever you wonder if your dreams are possible. You bet they are! Praise the Lord - He is good and his goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. So now I am free. And have been organizing and writing. I have over 24,000 words on the book I am writing. And Monday will start week 3 of my freedom and discovery. Praise the Lord.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Journey to Freedom - Part 1

First, I have to admit I must be somewhat of a free spirit. The 9 to 5 daily grind is not for me. I enjoy the friends I make, but eventually my soul yearns for freedom. I want my time to be my own and feel like the job enslaves me. I used to want to be free to roam and do as I please. Something akin to a human tumbleweed. But in February of this year it changed. I wanted to be free to write. The Lord placed a desire in my heart to write for Him. As the months passed, I became increasingly frustrated at having to stop writing and go to work. If the Lord gave me the desire then why didn't I have the time to write? Oh, there were snippets of time, but just as I my brain switched into writing mode - the clock would tell me it was time to go to work. ---The frustration tore at my soul. In my mind, I could see myself as a horse in a corral running full speed around and around. Looking for a way out and seriously thinking - I can jump this thing. But I knew I couldn't - after all we had bills to pay. Then one day, the picture in my mind changed. I no longer ran around the corral, but stood in the center. Just looking and standing. I heard the Lord say "You need to stop and listen to Me." I thought to myself and said "Yes Lord." So I listened. And Listened. And still remained frustrated. A few weeks ago, the drama in my mind continued. Still standing in the center of the corral, I watched as a hand out of Heaven threw something on the ground at my feet. I saw the dust rise around the object as it hit. I heard, "Do this." I bent down to see what had been thrown at my feet. I looked and it said, "Pray in tongues." Hmm, I can do that I said to myself. And began to pray aloud in the Spirit on the way to work and on the way home. This went on for a few weeks and things were better. But the freedom I longed for remained out of my reach. I was still behind the rails of the corral -- the hours I had to submit to for my job. The Last week of June I was once again wanting to jump that fence. The restlessness grew. Although when I did praise the Lord I noticed the fence would disappear. In my heart of hearts I knew the Lord would call me out and I would no longer be confined by the hours of a job and would be free to write and fulfill the destiny the Lord had for me. To Be Continued